Through out the years that the Human race has existed, there have been many theories about the sources of happiness. Many have lived a long life searching for this source and have either ended up with nothing or everything…
So what is this word that is called “Happiness” .. if you look it up in the dictionary, Happiness is “the quality or state of being happy” (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/happiness).. Great!! Amazing!! Super!! B U T ….. How?
The source of happiness has always been a mystery to the world and to me as well. People who know me, know I have everything a person ever wants or needs (elhamdila). I have amazing parents, a wonderful family of siblings, grandparents, uncles, cousin’s and friends, but I always felt something was missing.
The noises in my head (refer to my 1st post if you have no idea what I am saying) have always had longintense fights and debates about this subject. In fact, until about 2 years ago I myself didn’t know what the source of my happiness was.
To give you an idea of the sort of dialogue that goes on in my head:
Voice 1 (the angel): You have everything dear, you just have to appreciate it
Voice 2 (the angry person): What happiness and appreciate crap are you talking about, life is full of stupid stuff and happiness only exists in stories!
Voice 3 (the 3rd guy (whom i could never give a personality to)): You two better shut up and mind your own business, just live your life the way it is babe
Thankfully enough, all three of them were wrong!
So what happened to me? and how did I find my source of happiness?
I was going through a very rough time in my life (not the worst), but rough. I was sad and depressed for months, everyone around me felt it, including my family, friends and colleagues at work. I tried as much as I could to be happy but I couldn’t find that magic button.
And then one day…..
Something happened that made me really happy and excited (it was something very small)…..
2 days later I lost that thing….
B U T …..
Feeling happy those 2 days made me see the world in a different way…..
I remembered how good it felt to be happy and how bad it felt to be sad. I remembered how my friends and family reacted when they saw me happy and how that made them feel good. I remembered how amazing it felt to wake up with a smile on my face. I remembered how lovely it felt to breath…..
And that’s when I decided that no matter what happens, I will find a way to be happy….. Regardless of what situation I am in, I will not let myself go down that road again.
Sure, there were days that were very sad (specially when a very close person to me passed away, may allah rest her soul in peace), but even in that time I remembered that, for what it’ worth, I still had to find a way to be happy.
AND IT WORKED !!
I have never been happier my whole life.. Yes I cry.. Yes I feel depressed.. Yes I have mood swings….. This is all normal. Not being in those sad situations isn’t the goal. The goal is to over come them as quickly as possible.
In the end I discovered that happiness wasn’t anything but a feeling within ME, a feeling that I could control if I put my heart into it, a feeling that’s decision was completely in my hands..
B U T …..
The most important thing I discovered was that … : “The source of my happiness is ME …. “